Cloudy, with a chance of meatballs

Currently in the UK: it is cloudy and no one can fly because a volcano erupted under a glacier in Iceland.

Wait, what?

Yep, just as weird as it sounds. Apparently a volcano has erupted in Iceland about 1000km north of the UK. This is the second eruption in less than a month, and the second under Eyjafjallajökull, which means “Eyjafjalla glacier” in Icelandic. (“Eyjafjallajökull” is high in the running for my word of the year. No, I cannot pronounce it.) The subsequent ash cloud has hit the upper atmosphere, disbursing it in an ever-widening swath over Europe at the same altitude as commercial air traffic. So no flights. Why? Well, according to this article,

“In 1982, British Airways and Singapore Airways jumbo jets lost all their engines when they flew into an ash cloud over Indonesia. Reports said that the ash sandblasted the windscreen and clogged the engines, which only restarted when enough of the molten ash solidified and broke off.”

And according to this article, flying through volcanic ash is "a bit like negotiating one's way up a badger's arse". I'll leave that one up to your imagination.

Meanwhile, we in cloudy Leeds are getting prepared to spend a night under the ash, as reports that the ash cloud will spread to cover the whole of the UK by nightfall. Frankly, I’m kind of excited about this; it’s like an alien invasion or John Wyndham novel or something. No one’s being advised to stay indoors and keep their radios tuned, or anything Cold War-era film drama-like; but, I think we’re all feeling this strange desire to break these non-stated rules and head outside and watch the sky. It’s gaining all the heady carnival atmosphere of a bad ’50s horror film: “It burst from below the ice to tear aeroplanes from the sky! It was The Cloud From The Deep!” Bah bah BAH! The BBC is already dutifully churning out diagrams and predictions and animations and brightly-coloured satellite photographs showing black and red wisps of ash and ice swirling in a pool of melted orange and lime sorbet with a map of northern Europe transposed over the top, keeping us well-informed of all the latest ash-developments, and providing a rich history of Icelandic volcanoes. Even a section on air passengers' rights - what to do if a volcano inconveniences you! (Surprisingly, neither "sacrifice a virgin to Vulcan, god of fire" or “go jump in it” made the list.)

And - hope of all hopes - THE VOLCANO IS STILL ERUPTING! By tomorrow we could have a new highest peak in Europe! Scotland could be covered in a blanket of ash! Iceland could be renamed Landland! Norway could be plunged into an ice age unlike anything seen for ten thousand years! Dennis Quaid could be struggling to New York City to save Jake Gyllenhaal!

Could this be what’s causing the cloudy weather today? Could be; or it could just be Leeds’ wonderful track record of crap weather. Either way, if you need me, I’ll outside looking up.

Addendum: no one can travel via airplane due to the Eyjafjallajökull volcano. Generally no one in the UK can fly, but this is due to gravity and an inadequate supply of feathers.

Addendum 2: Wahey! Eruption webcam!

Addendum 3: "Iceland volcano ash is 'no threat to human health'". Blast, there goes my hopes for mutant powers.